The Briefest Overview of My Condition

The first thing you should know about me is anything but my condition. I have a handicap, yes, but that does not define me, and it does not prohibit me. It does present me with some challenges, but I have found solutions so I carry an optimistic attitude.

I am handicapped, but you would not guess it to look at me. I look like a healthy, happy, 28-year-old. I’m not a bodybuilder or an Ironman, but you wouldn’t think twice to ask me to do something physical. The truth is, I’m older than I look. I’m also faced with a price to pay for each physical movement. I can lift, push, pull, grab, squeeze, type, write, draw, point and gesture anyway you need me to. However, the amount of activity I do now, is proportionate to the amount of pain I will endure for the next month or more.

My condition is called Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, and you can look it up if you want. However, symptoms and limitations vary greatly depending on the individual. Suffice to say I have a compressed region in my clavicle that pinches off the veins, arteries, and nerves the more I use my hands. Pain ranges from a dull ache to an agonizing, throbbing ache with tingling nerves approaching paralysis.

I have had to change the way I approach tasks. I can type 60 words per minute, but the price I pay later is too high. Therefore, I made a decision to use voice software, which is significantly slower, and requires the additional thought process involving speech. Ultimately it will be better for me. Ultimately, it may even be more efficient than manual typing. However, in the meantime, It tries my patience.

I have also had to make difficult choices. I am An ambitious, independent person, but I am learning to ask for help. I am also a helpful person, but I’m frustrated at the fact that I cannot offer assistance the way I used to. I cannot help you lift your bag. I cannot write something down for you. I cannot flip through a stack of papers to help you find something.

I have to make choices. I am fortunate enough to still have the use of my hands, but that privilege means I have to carefully value the uses I apply them to. I think of it like this: say I can use my hands 20 times throughout the course of a day. What tasks take priority? Obviously, the highest priority tasks are the most basic ones. I still need to use my hands for grooming, eating, opening doors, etc. On days that I have attempted to use my hands a lot, those basic functions become a painful challenge.